Its completely normal for us humans to use the word ‘no’ – we understand its meaning as to be not to do something. However your dog has no idea what this means!  We tend to use it in a reactionary way – ‘no don’t grab that, no don’t jump on me, no don’t do that..’ – its very human! It also has the downside at making us focus on all the negatives – all the things the dog gets wrong. The word No also doesn’t convey any information to the dog about what to do.   They can work it out over time but it can be a tricky way for the dog to learn.

But it seems to work? Let me explain more…

But they look guilty?

Some dogs will display ‘guilty’ body language – they change their body posture, look away, you often see the white of their eyes (called whale eye) and they will often lower their body or slink away… Guilty as charged?

Not exactly… the dog is responding to changes in you – your posture (you get stiffer and stand taller), tone of voice (we often get stern or loud when we are cross) and body language (we often point at the dog to make a point about what we are saying)…

Why do some dogs ignore you when you tell them off?

Certain breeds – especially those bred to be independent thinkers and problem solvers – like terriers and hounds, will look at you and then frequently carry on with what they are doing. The dog makes a decision about what matters at the moment. Carry on with what they are doing, or respond to you. Often they don’t respond well to a stern tone and human body language of being cross

Why does my dog growl or ‘argue/answer back’?

This is frequently accompanied with stiff body language, whale eye, direct staring and a low growl, or even a snarl. This is not arguing or answering back. Your dog is showing you very clearly they feel challenged by you and are responding to perceived aggression/behaviour which makes them uncomfortable with defensive aggression. This is a situation which needs immediate de-escalation, unpicking and change of approaches to avoid in future and to reduce the risk of escalating behaviours

So why do some dogs respond to you and stop then?

Some breeds – especially those bred to work closely with people, such as gundogs – or those who are gentle, laid back dogs, will respond to you and stop what they are doing.

Does this mean they understand? No. they know you dont like it, but they dont necessarily know why. Do they learn not to do it – sometimes. Often they learn dont do this behaviour when humans around – so instead of chewing a show in front of you, they take it out of sight and chew it there instead.

So what could you do instead?

• Start the day with a pot of treats and aim to have fed them by the end of the day for all the great instances of behaviour that the dog offers – you then have endless opportunities to show the dog how it works for you both – all the behaviour gets taught and repeated again
• If the dog is playing, sometimes (and only sometimes), go and join in. Or when they are resting, go and get a toy and instigate play or interaction (again only sometimes). This reinforces the behaviour you want – the dog gets social interaction that they want and they repeat playing with toys (rather than shoes or childrens toys) and learn that calmness can also cause play to happen
• Focus on what you want and teach that – yes it seems a longer process rather just saying no, but you are teaching for the long term, so very quickly it becomes quicker than a lifetime of saying no!
• Notice when the dog does something you dont like and try and unpick it. If you can identify the possible cause, you can address that and the behaviour will settle as you are addressing its root cause